Jeffery H. Poling

Jeffrey H. Poling, 68, of Fairfield, passed away peacefully at home on Monday, December 1, 2025, surrounded by his loving family. He was the beloved and devoted husband of 40 years to Pam, and proud father to their son, Will, who described Jeff as the best father anyone could ever have.

Jeff was born in Evanston, Illinois, on August 1, 1957, to the late Earle and Lois Lind Poling. Despite losing both parents at a young age, Jeff, his sister Lois Ann and brother Greg developed an eternally optimistic attitude, and a keen sense of compassion for the needs of others. They formed an unbreakable bond, supporting each other through peaks and valleys, having a tremendous capacity to ‘do hard things’ with grace. Lois and Greg called Jeff every day as he dealt with his illness, offering love, encouragement and unwavering support.

Jeff was a voracious reader and student of American history. He was a fan of the New York Yankees and New York Giants through good times and bad. Jeff found restorative comfort in nature, particularly on seashores from Maine to the Galapagos Islands. On the day after Hurricane Gloria, Jeff and Pam began their marriage on a severely windswept beach, an experience that forever shaped Jeff’s career in creating beautiful weddings for hundreds of couples in the tri-state area. Beginning his career at his beloved Yale Club of New York City, Jeff went on to produce outstanding intimate private dinners, Broadway show premiere galas, and pasta dinners for thousands of New York City Marathoners. In the days following 9/11, he and his dedicated team transformed meals prepared for Fashion Week attendees, and brought them to first responders at Ground Zero. His easy-going nature, attention to detail and dedication to service contributed to his success in the hospitality industry, making you feel that you were the only guest in the room. Taking early retirement, he worked for the Town of Fairfield as a contact tracer during the Covid pandemic, and then as a beach water tester for our recreational areas. Service to others and a deep love for the outdoors were embedded in his nature.

In addition to Pam and Will, he is survived by his loving sister Lois Ann (David) Krippene, and adored brother Gregory (Sally) Poling. He will be remembered by his many nieces and nephews: Kim Kurre (Darren), Krissy Lenkaitis (Jamie), Taylor Brodell (David), Kendall Gomber (John), Bret Hyde (Keeli), Collin Flanagan, James Hourican (Lauren), Ryan Flanagan (Catherine), Tom Mitchell (Claire) and Emily, in addition to 15 grand nieces and nephews. He also leaves his sisters-in-law, Susan Hyde, Jean Perrine (fellow Yankee fan), Eileen Flanagan (fellow Giants fan) and Jill Mitchell (Larry) who regarded him as their own brother. He was predeceased two years ago by another sister-in-law, Joan Hourican, and earlier this year, her husband James.

Not many people have friendships of 57 years, but Jeff and Larry Mitchell had just that. “Mitch” and Jeff shared memorable adventures, as Boy Scouts camping in a deep freeze on Mt. Snow to becoming Eagle Scouts, to scaling Mount Katahdin in a 1978 Dodge van, to teaching Pam to ski, and being roommates in Brooklyn. They were always there for each other.

Pam and Will are beyond grateful and humbled, especially for the care shown by friends on the “The Lane”. They would also like to thank the wonderful Southport Congregational Church community who gave so much support to the Poling family these past two years.

A memorial service will be held on Saturday, December 13, at 2 p.m. at Southport Congregational Church, 524 Pequot Ave., Southport, CT. 

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the Joe Torre Safe at Home Foundation or to the Buildings & Grounds Fund at Southport Congregational Church.